A Cup Full of Memories
This essay was the outcome of an oral history project, for which I had interviewed my paternal grandfather about his life's journey with a tangible object as the anchor. The object in this case was a cup that belonged to his father and my great grandfather.
A few days back me and my dad visited my grandparents at their flat in Santoshpur, during the lockdown to check up on them. Soon after we arrived, my grandma went into the kitchen to make some tea and when she came out with it, my eyes immediately fell upon a beautiful white cup with a green border near the rim. When I asked about it, my grandfather told me that this originally belonged to his father and after his death, my grandfather had brought it to Kolkata to preserve it as a memory.
So when I got the opportunity to study an object which has remained in my family and also interview a family member, I instantly knew I would choose my grandfather, Mr. Sanat Roy and try to uncover the history of this hundred year old minimalistic cup made of glass. Once I told him about the interview, he was thrilled and hence on a Sunday morning, we made some tea and started speaking about his life.
It had all started in a small village named Garhbeta in the district of Midnapore, in West Bengal. My great-grandfather, Dr. Shyamchand Roy was a renowned doctor of that time who had studied under Dr. Bidhan Chandra Roy, who later went on to become the Chief Minister of West Bengal. After completing his education when Dr. Bidhan Roy offered him a job as his assistant, he apparently declined because he had promised his father that after studying in Kolkata, he would come back to his native village and serve his people, who were in dire need of better healthcare. When my grandfather was born, he was named ‘Shibu’ and at that time he saw his father working in the Amlagora Zamindari Company. It is there, that his father met Mr. Scott who was an englishman working for the British Government. Mr. Scott looked over the zamindari estate and soon developed a friendship with the young Dr. Shyam.
My grandfather recalls that his father regularly visited Mr. Scott in the evening, when they would share a cup of tea and gossip. Once when Mr. Scott went back to England to visit his family, he brought back a beautiful pair of German made cups and saucers. He gifted this set to my great-grandfather and asked him to take his daily tea in it. Dr. Shyamchand was the family physician for Mr. Scott and this particular relationship throws light on the kinds of friendships the British had with the educated Indians in the colonial times. Mr. Scott later died in England and his wife had written to my great-grandfather saying that in his last days, he had said that “If Dr. Shyam was here, he would have saved me.”
When asked about some of his childhood memories of the cup, my grandfather says that “It was only brought out on certain special occassions and not meant for daily use.” It is clear that these cups were kept under the strict supervision of his mother and to an young boy this particular set seemed very precious. Furthermore, in our childhood, we are all fascinated by certain kitchenware which is rarely used, since they have a sense of mystery attached to them and finally when they are brought out of the cabinet, it excites us because that often foreshadows the arrival of a guest.
Soon my grandfather and his younger brother grew up and it was time for them to leave their home in Garhbeta and venture out into the world. My grandfather decided to study science for his Intermediate and stayed in Kolkata at his aunt’s place at that time. After passing his exams he decided to change streams and wanted to pursue Sociology for his graduation, for which he went to Visva Bharati University in Bolpur. According to him, these were some of the most formative years of his life since this was the first time he got some real freedom. He describes his mother to be ‘over-strict’ at times and says that he does not think having very strict and controlling parents is good for a child’s overall development. And hence he tried his best not to emulate that, with his own children.
His relationship with his father is a bit more complicated. They surely have shared some sweet moments, for instance when he received his first tennis racket and he remembers his father encouraging him to play, but in general he always felt that his father was very busy with his own medical practice. On top of that, being the son of one of the most respectable man in the village has its own drawbacks. There is always an inherent pressure to carry forward a parent’s legacy. A word that was used by my grandfather to describe his father was ‘reluctant’ and I think that is interesting because it shows that even though Dr. Shyam became quite successful, he never really pushed his children to take the risks he had taken in his own youth, and that somehow hurt my grandfather.
After completing his graduation, my grandfather wanted to go abroad for post-graduation, since at that time India did not have many options to pursue further studies in the field of Sociology. Therefore, after speaking to some of his seniors he applied to a few institutes in the United States of America and after a few months he got accepted in the University of Pennsylvania, in the year 1961. He was very happy and excited to go abroad on his own but right before he could go to Delhi and apply for his Visa, ‘Chinese Aggression’ took place and the Sino-Indian War ensued a year later. His travel plans were abruptly terminated and then he never got the chance to go abroad till date.
Disappointed at the turn of events, he started looking for work and after a few jobs here and there, he cleared a government examination and was posted as a Panchayat Officer. Soon after that he got married in the year 1965, according to the wishes of his parents and had a son, two years later. Somewhere near that time, my great-grandfather gave up his habit of drinking tea daily and the cup found its permanent place as a memento, in the ‘bhanraar ghar’ (store-room) of the house.
In 1973, my grandfather had a daughter and he says that even though he had a brother for company during his childhood, he always felt the need for a sister and he wanted to give his son that opportunity. In the coming years, due to his transferrable job he moved from one place to the other with his family and his son (my father) was sent to a boarding school. But when they visited Garhbeta during vacations, my father developed a liking towards his grandfather, who was then suffering from Parkinson’s disease. Dr. Shyam always had a special place in his heart for his grandson, who he spent a lot of time with, right from his childhood. When the patriarch passed away in 1991, my great-grandmother decided to stay in Garhbeta for some more years and her sons did not want to uproot her from the village. But when my grandfather retired in 1997, he thought it was time to bring his mother to live with them. He also booked a flat in Kolkata, at the request of his children, who told him it would be easier for them to visit him in the city and he and his wife will also get better healthcare facilities in their old age. That was when they sold their house in Garhbeta and my grandfather along with his brother went there to bring their mother to the city.
By that time, only one of the cups remained and my grandfather decided to keep it at his house as a memory of his father. He never used it himself but he wanted to pass it on to his son (my father) since he was very fond of my great-grandfather. The cup still remains at his place in Santoshpur and is only used for serving tea to my father when he visits. Even after almost hundred years, it still looks as alluring as ever and only time can tell how much more history it will record.
